fatherhood --- take 1

Man, what did I do to deserve such fine sons?  Many of the examples I set were not all they could have been.  I do not think this was a random outcome.  Maybe I am being blessed by it as opposed to deserving it but regardless I am grateful.   

All three inspire me, all apply real thought processes to analyze what is going on about them, all enjoy life, all are serious about doing quality work, all are inquisitive and want to learn, all have compassion for others, and all bring a smile to others.

They are significantly different from each other in many ways and yet share some fairly unusual traits (uncanny memories and ability to recall verbal utterances, ability to 'sing' Brain Salad Surgery instrumentals, etc.).  They are truly there for each other and love to rank on each other and love to make each other laugh. 

My love for them has similar characteristics but also is quite different in many ways. It cannot be quantified or rank-ordered.  As their Dad, I have bit my tongue many, many times to not say judgmental things about ways they have chosen to live their lives or aspects of their personalities.  Just because it ain't the way I would do it, don't mean it's wrong!  As much as I love them, I would have loved to find a way to start a family business that would have kept us closer.  I continued to daydream about that until just very recently.  But, I think I always knew, deep inside, that it would have been wrong to pursue the family business idea because it would have been more for me than for them.  I wanted them to each know they had my admiration, respect, and support to go after whatever they wanted in their lives whenever they wanted to go after it. 

I have at times wondered about whether my silence about some things could have negative consequences.  But, I managed to not open my mouth and I think they all know about the sorts of things that have occasionally troubled my mind, anyway.  If not, ah well.  Things have worked out really well as they have transitioned into adulthood and made great strides into becoming men of substance. 

I adjusted my approach to being 'Dad' to fit who they were as individuals -- not as a homogeneous group of 'my kids'.

I did not know when I started writing this that it would really be an attempt to answer my lead-in question. 
Maybe another answer to the question would be that I married such a fabulous woman.  The uber-Mom and uber-Wife/Friend.

Anyway, I am going to start running again (and doing Jiang Ha) while Diane is visiting Chris and Kara in San Fran this next week.  Maybe someday I can run a marathon or trail run with one or more of them.  That'd be fun.  I have to say, though, that it this may not be a long running career for me.  I'll just have to see how the joints hold out.